By Jan
[Ed Note: Although this article was submitted with the articles
on pages 24 & 25 on coping with auto-immune disorders, the techniques
outlined below can be effective for anyone.]
There are some cognitive restructuring methods that are helpful.
With these methods, you deliberately alter your thought patterns--"brainwash"
yourself!-- so that you can live through depression without taking
an emotional nose-dive. It's not a cure, but cognitive restructuring
can put you back in the driver's seat.
When you get really tired of what is happening to you, this method
will give you some relief. The idea is, that you have beliefs that
keep leading you to the same old behavior and the same old outcomes.
Only you can change your beliefs, try new things, and see better
outcomes. You can't learn how to do anything new if you keep doing
what you know.
Buy a whistle. Wear it. You know when you are starting to think
those debilitating thoughts. They can come really fast. When you
start to think these thoughts, reach for the whistle and blow. Say
out loud: "Stop!" Immediately go to one of five thoughts
that you have planned for just such an occasion. These are five
thoughts that are pleasant for you, that you keep stored in a list
in your heart. Think about what you are doing: "I am choosing
something different."You know when you are starting to think
those thoughts that spiral downwards. The ones that begin with A
and just keep getting worse until you finally get down to Z. You've
been running through them maybe your whole life and these thoughts
may feel like facts. The thoughts that start out with a small hurt
and end up irrationally that everything in the whole world is bad.
On your way down the alphabet, stop to ask yourself this question:
"What is the worst that could happen?"
Now answer that question. Figure out what the worst would be. Figure
out what your options would be, should the worst happen. Figure
out more than one option. Brainstorm a short list of how you could
deal with the worst and get out of it. Ask yourself, "Is this
becoming more clear?"Depression can cause irrational thoughts.
Examine these thoughts and replace them with rational ones. Make
a list for yourself (when you are not depressed), of reasonable
thoughts that you can exchange for unreasonable ones when you are
depressed. Ask yourself, "Is this making more sense?"
Are you starting to think that you have no options? Are you thinking
that a situation absolutely will never change? That life is not
fair to you? Do you feel that there is only one way to achieve a
goal, and that this one way is finally and forever blocked? When
you begin to see things as having no options and no change, it is
time to talk with someone else who has fresh ideas. There are always
other options and "final, perfect, fair, always within the
rules" doesn't happen very often in real life. Ask five people
what they would do.Spiraling thoughts have these things in common.
Learn to recognize these factors as the depression talking, not
you: catastrophic thinking, thinking all or none, seeing only black
and white, finding solace only in blaming yourself or others, jumping
to one huge conclusion about life over just one event. Say to yourself,
"I am feeling sad. But my feelings could be different tomorrow."
You can also say: "Because I'm not always depressed, this won't
last."What language are you using to talk to yourself and others?
Make a list of the name-calling words you wish you could use. Make
another list of only accurate words, and switch what you say to
yourself and others. When you start to feel you are not as capable
as someone else, say out loud back to yourself, "So what!"When
you feel that you are sure about what will happen in the future,
say back to yourself, "No one knows what will happen in the
future. I'm not a fortune teller! I refuse to take up any more of
my time speculating on this."Is your self-worth based on anything
external? Do you feel that others run your feelings? That's not
very controllable, is it? What do you truly like about yourself?
Make a list. When you start to focus on the external thing, deliberately
move your thoughts to the items on your own list. Do you find yourself
thinking that you are messed up because of your past, and as such,
things can never be different for you? Stop that thought, right
there. Say, "My past doesn't have the power to ruin me."Have
you been spending more than five minutes thinking about how bad
everything is? Aren't you tired of it? Tap yourself on the wrist,
saying, "I don't have any more energy for this kind of thinking."Maybe
you made a mistake that you've made amends for, but that you can't
stop thinking about. Keep a five-year calendar on hand. Take it
out and look at the last month of the fifth year. Say, "Five
years from now, this mistake won't matter anymore." "I
have had good times before. This isn't such a good week, but I know
good times always come back again."On a day when you are doing
well, make a tape for yourself. Play it on another day, when you
need assurance from yourself that bad times don't last forever.Is
there someone you need to get out of your mind? Call yourself on
it. Notice, as you are driving down the road, all the people driving
by or waiting on traffic jams. Or imagine you are sitting in your
spacesuit on the moon, looking at the populace of the entire earth.
Say, "There are lots of interesting people out there to meet."
Alternately say, "The only thing that comes delivered is pizza." |
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