by J.H.Ponce
Self–esteem, I wish I had some.
One is not born with self-esteem; it is nurtured. As we grow from
childhood into adulthood, self-esteem, if we have cultivated enough
through our lives, gives us the strength to be the best people we
can be, it gives us the best chance to succeed and it keeps us from
self-destruction, from becoming our worst enemies.
Just being alive is enough self-esteem to gain more, knowing that
you want to love, to feel, to dream, and to be somebody to yourself,
not necessarily to others, is self-esteem. Knowing that you have
none is enough to start looking for some.
To pamper yourself is to nurture self-esteem; to do everything
that makes you feel better about yourself is self-esteem. Others
will not appreciate you if you don’t appreciate yourself first,
in other words, why would anyone think that what you are doing for
them is important or special when you are always doing for others
rather than for yourself? It loses importance because it’s
your routine; it’s what is normal behavior from you. Now if
you are always taking care of yourself first and for a change you
do something for somebody else—Wow! People will appreciate
the fact that you actually took the time and effort to do it. You
make them feel special because what you did for them is special.
I found out not too long ago that depression was just anger turned
against oneself. I believe this to be true. I am angry and I am
angry at myself and at the world. Angry at the fact that I have
not stood up for my decisions or myself. Angry because I have not
been honest enough to gain my own trust; angry because I consistently
allow others to dictate what I do or don’t do; angry because
I’m afraid; angry because I’ve depended on other people
rather than myself; angry because I’ve been hurt and disappointed.
Angry because I’ve let my dreams slip away; angry because
I have not allowed myself to be myself. Angry because I can’t
stop feeling angry. Angry at the fact that I’ve lost all my
self-esteem. Angry because I’m always depressed even when
I think I’m not.
A little self-esteem would have kept me from making so many mistakes
and not regret the ones that I have made and a little self-esteem
would have kept me from feeling and thinking this way.
Self-esteem is the “Golden Egg”. It makes giants out
of us. Self-esteem keeps us honest and allows us to love freely
without contempt, envy or fear. It helps us understand and accept
responsibility for ourselves and our actions. It helps us make the
right decisions and it helps us do the right thing. It makes loving
ourselves and others if not easy, easier.
Can I remember when it was I felt full of self-esteem? Yes.
Can I remember what that felt like? Yes.
Do you know what self-esteem feels like?
Can you remember?
Self-esteem allows you to accept yourself for who and what you
are.
So, what is the trick with self-esteem? Having some, that’s
right.
It doesn’t matter how much or how little you think you have,
all you need is some. If you can say to yourself “I don’t
have any” then you have enough to realize that you don’t
have any and that is enough to get some more and more becomes more.
It’s sometimes not easy but it is simple.
Start with doing a little something for yourself everyday, even
when you don’t feel like it, do something that you enjoy,
it doesn’t matter what it is as long as the outcome makes
you feel better. It could be fixing something broken or simply taking
a hot bath, it’s your choice.
That’s the trick. |
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