Partners

Our February 2004 meeting focused specifically on partners. While partners of trans people come in all shapes and sizes and genders and. . . this follow-up primarily focuses on female (femme, in particular) partners of masculine trans+ people. There aren't all that many resources for gay male PARTNERS of FTMs+/genderqueers/butches, but there are a lot of gay, bi and even straight male partners of FTMs+/butches/masculine-transfolks. If you know specific resources for male partners, FORGE will append this resource to be more inclusive of other partner identities and experiences.

TRANS-POSITIONED (by Loree Cook-Daniels)
http://www.forge-forward.org/handouts/Transpositioned.html
This ground-breaking article focuses specifically on the challenges and joys of lesbian-identified partners of transitioning female-to-male individuals. Topics include how transitioning affects the partner's identity, the relationship, and the community.

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SOFFA Q&A (by Loree Cook-Daniels)
http://www.forge-forward.org/handouts/SOFFA-QA.pdf
Significant Others, Friends, Family and Allies (SOFFAs) of trans people are an important part of the trans community. This fact sheet outlines their issues and the roles they can play in advancing trans/SOFFA rights.

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Trans Families  (by Loree Cook-Daniels)
(Parents and Kids Resources)
http://www.forge-forward.org/handouts/TransFamilies.pdf
This is a succinct national list of resources for parents, children, and other family members of trans people and for transgendered persons who are themselves parents.

There are many websites of SOFFAs (partners in particular) available on the Internet. Here is a smattering of some sites that may be of interest (and may lead you to many other interesting sites or email lists or resources).

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Butch/femme.com
http://www.butch-femme.com/portal/
Butch-Femme is a site predominantly geared towards butches who are into femmes, and femmes who are into butches, although many people who identify as queer (and some who don't ID as queer) find this site useful. Two of the best aspects of this site are the very active and diverse set of forums (BBS-type message boards) and their equally active personals section where MANY people connect and find love/friendship/dating relationships. While the name is butch-femme, there are many trans+ people who participate on this site. 

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Stone Femme website
http://www.stonefemme.com/
A site for queer identified femmes and stone femmes. Many articles and links to other resources. 

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Transensual Femme
http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Cafe/6603/home2.html
This website is specifically geared towards femmes who are attracted to butches and transmen (and anyone on the masculine spectrum of trans-gender). The site author holds that a transensual femme identity is about WHO you are, rather than about who you are partnered with. Progressive and empowering.

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Transfemme website
http://www.fortunecity.com/village/maupin/133/index.htm
This is a personal site of a female partner of a transman. She has several interesting articles, as well as some detailed personal accounts of various milestones in their transition as a couple. This site also includes many SOFFA-specific resources. 

There are literally hundreds of email lists that are geared towards partners of transpeople, as well as even more lists that are partner-inclusive and that have actively posting partners. Two major sources to check out for lists not mentioned here are http://groups.yahoo.com/ and http://www.queernet.org.

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T-Fem Email List
Transensualfem is a discussion list for femme dykes whose attraction is to transgendered butches and/or female-to-male transexuals (FTM's). This list is for us and about us, not solely as extensions of TG butches/FTM's, but as femme women.

Discussion may include, but will not be limited to: our place in the queer community, support for partners of transitioning FTM's, our own transition (e.g. as femmes, as femmes who are "transitioning by association", etc.), outing, and other related topics. Transensualfem is sex-positive and kink friendly.

To subscribe to transensualfem, send an email to: majordomo@queernet.org with:
subscribe transensualfem <e-address>

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Butch-Femme Community Lists
http://www.butch-femme.com/Community/lists.htm
There are a total of 22 email lists for femmes, buches, ftms, fat folks, people of color, older folks, young people, people into BDSM, and much more. 

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FTMSO email list
This list is for SO's of transgendered persons on the masculine end of the gender spectrum. This generally means SO's of FTM's/Transmen or those considering transition. SO's can talk about our own issues and get support from others. This list is open to SOs with *ANY* gender or sexual orientation or background. [Ed note: this list is fairly high volume.]

To learn more go to http://ftmso.stargazersgarden.com
To Subscribe, send email to FTMSOs@yahoo.com

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FTM Personals yahoo group
An email list created by and for FTMs and their admirers. Placing an ad is free. Responding to ads is free. No wading through irrelevant non-ftm-related ads. No figuring out how to find ftm-seekers and ftms. That's all we have here!

Anyone on the FTM spectrum (Boi, FTM, F2M, M2M, Transman, Genderqueer, TG Butch, etc) those who would like to date them (of any gender) can post a personal ad of any length. Non-FTMs are especially welcome! We have a short screening process, which keeps the group spam-free and insures your privacy and comfort.

This group is actively moderated to keep discussion on-topic, positive, constructive and spam-free.

For more information and to subscribe, send email to
FTM_Personals-owner@yahoogroups.com with questions. 

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Trannyfags
This list is a resource for FTMs who identify as gay, bi, queer, and their partners. It provides a place for us to discuss issues pertinent to our lives, including, but not limited to sex and sexuality. [Ed note: Partners are welcome, though there are only a few who actively post.]

To subscribe to trannyfags, send an email to: majordomo@queernet.org with:
subscribe trannyfags <e-address>

SOFFAlove collective
The SOFFAlove Collective is a Philadelphia , PA based grassroots effort to create visibility for SOFFA's nationally.

What is a SOFFA?

Significant Other's, Friends, Family and Allies of someone who is a Trans Person.

What does SOFFAlove do?

SOFFAlove is an ongoing effort to create space and visibility for SOFFA's. Our current project includes written research and a film documentary with completion date of spring 2006.

Our research Survey can be found here http://www.geocities.com/soffalove/index.htm

Please fill it out to the best of your abilities. All information is confidential. If you would like to be in the film documentary please contact us at SOFFAlove@yahoo.com

We at SOFFAlove are interested in creating tools and educational materials for SOFFA's. It is a way to support and understand the diversity and complexity of someone who is Trans. There are few informational materials available on this subject. Often the fear of people's reactions can become quite alarming to someone who is Trans. As society progresses and we break down the gender binary boundaries, we as a society need to create our own tools to help shape and form our community and support.

When someone transitions it is often a very difficult and overwhelming experience. The biggest fear is how others, whether near and dear, acquaintances, or strangers, will react. It is natural for people to fear what they do not know. Creating tools to support people in this process while addressing their fear will foster acceptance and of our diversity. We believe this project may help the people who care and love the Trans person in their life coming out. The film and written research materials will be available to many communities, companies and organizations. SOFFAlove is a grassroots project and we will do everything in our power to see that the world becomes a safer place for diversity.

If you would like to join the SOFFAlove collective please contact us thru e-mail.

If you would like to donate to the SOFFAlove collective please e-mail us for our paypal information or mailing address..

Thank you

The SOFFAlove Collective
SOFFAlove@yahoo.com